So those of you know my daughter know that she is pretty quirky. She reacts strongly to things - both good and bad - and takes everything to heart. We have been working with her on how to handle when bad stuff happens to her, and have talked alot over the past few months about appropriate reactions.
Her experience this year seems to be better. She is remembering to take deep breaths, and trying really hard to keep things in perspective. Alot to ask from a 10 year old...there are adults I know that could use that lesson (and there are occasions when I include myself in that bucket). While we were going through these life lessons, we were also talking about the importance of not getting pushed around ,and the need to let her emotions out. I wanted to make sure that she knew it was ok to blow a gasket once in awhile, especially if she was feeling threatened or picked on.
I'm thinking we are rock star parents - lessons abound at our house! Uh huh right. Tonight I found out there is a bit of a conundrum in our package of lessons. When someone pushes you out of the way and you get up and push them back, is that sticking up for yourself or being aggressive? And when someone takes something that is yours and you chase them and grab for it back? Where does that one lie on the spectrum? Man I hate it when the hard questions get pulled out around the dinner table.
So whats the answer? I wish I had some enlightening response but I was a little dumbfounded. While I don't want the solution to be to bottle everything up (been there, done that and the results were not good!), or to report every little incident, I also want to give her an easy way to figure out when its ok to stand her ground. So we push on and deal with situations as they come up. We remember to treat people as we want to be treated, and we remember to think before we act. You know...easy stuff.
For me, I continue to teach those lessons (even when I have to muddle through them) and I keep passing out the hugs as long as she'll take them. All I can do, right? If anyone has any words of wisdom, bring them on please!