Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I'm a Control Freak

I've always told people I'm a type-A personality.  I like things done right (usually means my way), and like to be the one giving directions.  I'm realizing that "type-A" is just a  nice way of calling someone a control freak.

Usually, all is ok.  I can reign myself in before anyone finds it too annoying, and most times people seem to be alright just stepping back and letting me do it.  And my family has grown to love this quirk about me (so they tell me!).  Take "pot luck dinners" for example.  Probably one of the most stressful things for me is to have someone say "just make it pot luck and and we'll all bring whatever".  WHAT?  No planned menu?  How will I know all the bases are covered?  What if we end up with only desserts?  My usual response is "It's ok...I like doing this stuff) - to which I'm sure I get an eye roll.

I am getting better - I gave up a little control last year for my sister's wedding shower - although my family will say I did not (I did have a plan for how I was going to handle it if it turn out the way I wanted), all I promised was that I would try.

It also carries over into my parenting.  I went to a seminar recently, and realized I'm what they call an "over-functioning parent".  In a nutshell, I like to do everything for my kids, remind them of schedules, and their experience at school stresses me out more than it does them.  Aren't all parents like that?  I am making a conscious decision to allow them to make some of their own decisions and give them more responsibility around the house.  Who cares if they don't clean the same way I do, right?  And they should learn to accept the consequences if they don't do their homework, right?

I fully expect that it will take some time before I can let go and become "less type-A".  I will try, but I will certainly have a checklist that will tell me if I am doing it right.  And a plan to fix things if the checklist tells me I'm not.  I wish I could heed Yoda's advice: "There is no try, just do".  For now, all I can promise to do is try.

To my friends, feel free to call me out on it.  I won't promise it won't generate a sigh or a look of daggers, but I will promise to take it in stride :-)

Monday, March 5, 2012

On the Road Again...

Wow...I can't believe its been a couple of weeks since I last posted.  I seem to have a thousand ideas through the day of things that would make a great blog topic, but finding the time to sit and write them is becoming more and more scarce.  I guess I have to resort to scheduling my "free time" where I plan to blog.

I wish the title of this post referred to me getting to travel, but the road I'm on again is of a different kind.  I'm back on the road to trying to get healthy.

When I decided to start writing, I told myself that I would not turn this into a blog about weight - or more specifically about losing it.  I have struggled with my weight...always.  I have been on every fad diet imaginable and...well you know how the rest of this paragraph goes.  It's a continuous yo-yo.  The worst part is it is not rocket science - eat healthy, everything in moderation and exercise every day.  So simple...yeah right.  Life gets in the way of making the choices we know are the right ones.

So while I will not chronicle my journey here, every now and then I may rant a little (when my sugar cravings get the best of  me), but the rants will pass.  For now, I want to focus on making better choices so that I can chase my girls in a game of tag without my knees burning.  Don't get me wrong - getting to wear cute clothes and hearing the compliments are a motivator too.  And that may be how I keep my eye on the prize.  In the end, though, the prize truly is feeling better. 
Just wish I could get to the prize drinking wine and eating cheesecake.  For now, I'll imagine my water tastes like chocolate :-).

So here is my first rant - I'm working with a system right now that will help to get rid of the toxins from my body.  Sounds fabulous - BUT it means no caffeine.  NO. CAFFEINE.  I'm a sucker for punishment I know - I have already warned the people around me that I will not be pleasant over the next few days, and I apologized in advance.  For anyone I missed, I'm sorry.  You have my permission to tell me where to go - just don't mention Starbucks and no one gets hurt.