Thursday, January 15, 2015

Give me Strength

So here's the truth...I've always considered myself a strong person. I can handle lots, am pretty good at turning the other cheek when I need to, and I can square my shoulders and take stuff head on with the best of them. I try to avoid drama when I can, but when I'm in the midst of chaos I can take a breath and handle it pretty well.

I thought I was strong...then I had children. Now I watch them and marvel at their strength. I don't remember school days being so tough - I guess that's a good thing. I'm sure there must have been days growing up when I felt like I was drowning, but I can't clearly remember any of them.

I've watched my girls have amazing times - giggle with their friends, take silly selfies, act like kids. I've also watched them struggle with things that would make us cringe as adults - people talking behind their backs, realizing friends weren't really friends, trying to figure out "why them".

Even on days when the "why me's" outweigh the silly selfies, I've seen their strength. I've seen them do their best to turn the other cheek, or to just remember to breathe when chaos takes over. I've also listened to them rant and held their hands through tears. I've tried to explain, with little success cause I don't understand it, why some people feel the need to put others down.

Through it all I've seen their resilience and I've seen them be stronger than I would have been at that age. I've seen them develop a thicker skin and I've watched how they have found reason in the actions of others...even when those actions are not reasonable. I've seen their strength outweigh my own.

I wish they didn't need to have this kinda of strength right now. I wish it could stay rainbows and roses for a little while longer. But it can't. So that means I need to continue to nurture their strength, and to find my own when I'm ready to lose it on the situation at hand. I need to make sure they keep talking to me about everything that is going on, and I have to stay in listen mode rather than go into fix it mode. I must encourage them to find the good in all situations even when they are not sure their is any.

Most of all, I need to remind them that it's ok not to be strong all the time. It is ok to lose it, to ask for help, to lean on those who care about us. Sometimes that is when we find our strength we didn't know we had.

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