Monday, April 16, 2018

Next Step almost done!

In my last post, I talked about being almost half done with my chemo treatments.  Well here we are a few weeks later, and by this time tomorrow I will be done my last one.  If you could see me right now, you would see me jumping up and down, fist pumping - you pick the visual that portrays how happy I am that this part is coming to an end.

The experience over the last few weeks has been intriguing.  While I managed to skip the nausea side effect, and my nails have stayed in tact, the rest of it has been daunting.  The fatigue that has set in has been like nothing I have ever experienced.  I finally understand the expression bone tired - it's crazy how much I can sleep these days!  Oh and the brain fog is the weirdest thing I've experienced.  I literally walk around in a fog every day - and multi-tasking has become too much for me to handle.  I really hope the fog clears when this is all done - I can't imagine life without the ability to multi task! 

Let's see...what else?  Sensory overload.  That's also new to me - my brain actually hurts if there are too many things going on or too many noises all at once.  No hair - that one was expected but I'm getting tired of wearing hats.  Pretty sure I will never wear another hat again when I don't have to!  Oh and my taste buds are off.  I hate thinking things will taste like one thing only to have them taste like something else.  Like wine.  Worst thing ever to take a sip of what you know is a good wine that you love and have it literally taste like vinegar.  Eventually my taste buds return to normal, but it's annoying.

So I am happy that this part of treatment is coming to an end and that, hopefully, the side effects will taper off.  Not gonna lie though - the next part on my journey to getting well is the one that I've been avoiding.  I don't deal well with the emotional/mental part of things (I'm an avoider by nature) - but I'm discovering that this one I can't just compartmentalize and shelve.  I'll have to figure out what my new normal is, and how to deal with everything that has happened.  Truth be told, I think that freaks me out more than the chemo.  But, in the words of a dear friend, if I want to get my mojo back, I'll have to work my way through it - and so I shall :-)

Thanks again to everyone for your support - it means the world to me and my family.  Not sure I'd even be ready to deal with the next part without all the good vibes that have been coming my way.  Oh, but before I tackle the heavy stuff, I will have a glass of bubbly to celebrate the end of chemo - that is once my taste buds are back to normal.  No point in wasting good bubbly!!

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