When I imagined what kind of mom I would be, I had grandiose ideas. I would be the "cool" mom, the "go with the flow" mom, the mom who taught their kids to just deal with things as they came up and ignore anyone who was being mean. Theory is excellent...then I became a mom.
I still think I can be the cool mom, and I try to go with the flow (although those who know me know that I tend to plan even my go with the flow moments) - its the letting the kids deal with things I'm having trouble with. How can I preach patience and walking away when all I want to do is head to the school yard and make sure my kids are not being picked on?
This especially rings true when you have a child with a sensitive soul...who takes everything to heart and hangs on to hurt feelings until they all come pouring out. We talk about strategies to help her with the "mean kids" and how important it is for her to share her feelings. And there are lots of hugs...lots and lots of hugs.
My advice to new moms...strive to be the cool mom, the go with the flow mom. As for the other lesson, strive to let them work out some of it, but don't be afraid to intervene when you need to (sometimes Mama Bear does need to show herself). For me, I've also learned to bite my tongue and breathe. I'm sure that is better than me following my daughter around in the schoolyard and preaching for everyone to play nice, right? And if that doesn't work, I go for more hugs. For now, at least, that seems to make it better for both of us.